Really Tired

I am not sure why, but here lately I have been really tired. It is funny that on the days I can only get 4-6 hours of sleep I do the best but if I get any more than 6 hours of sleep I am so tired during the day...

I had a nice long week end "off". Th preschool was closed today and I got to spend some one on one time with the girls and also organized some stuff. Caroline got her first sewing machine. It is a cute small one from Hobby Lobby, it only cost $25. She is really excited about it but after using it i realize it is not good, or even worth the $25 we spent. The stitches do not stay in... I didn't say anything to her though, she is too happy. She just sat there for over an hour stitching fabric together. I am so proud of her! She is only 6 and wants so bad to learn all of the things of being a homemaker. She loves cooking, sewing, scrap booking... All of it. We have been working out of the Keepers of the Home book. I think that is what it is called.

Please keep my husband in your prayers. They are having some long days and nights and not getting much sleep. I miss him so much!

Many blessings to you all!

Busy weeks...

The first two weeks of first grade have been great. My daughter has enjoyed learning new things. So far we spent two weeks learning about bunnies (her choice), and going over stuff from last year. I also run a part day preschool so that has been underway. I really enjoy teaching my kids and working with them. I don't see how some parents are so ready to shove their kids out of the door. Don't get me wrong, there are days that I so tired, the kids have been fighting, and I am ready to throw in the towel. But I just pray, put the kids to bed, pray again, and get up and do it again the next day. There are so many things I am so glad to bed there for, to teach them; like when Caroline learns how to read a new word or when she learns something new that she has been trying to understand.

Well, now the not so good news... My husbands' job has changed... He was workign in the office, which I ahve been VERY thankful for. Now he has been moved to do his actual job he is trained for which takes him out of the office and outside working. I know it is selfish of me to want him inside the whole time, but I feel like he is safer when he works in the office. They are in some remote location, not on a main camp in Afghanistan. I am so worried about him. This is his forth deployment but by far the one with the most danger. I have NOT been watching any TV. We don't have cable, and out only TV is an old one and we do not have a converter box for it. This is on purpose. We did have two really nice new TV's but got rid of them to make better use of our time. Anyhow, please pray for my husband and his unit. Please pray for their safety.

Really GREAT movie!

I just finished watching a really great but sad movie.. It is called "Letters To God", and it is a true story... I don't want to give away what happens but it is a GREAT movie in my book!!! There are so many heart felt emotions in this movie and I can relate to many of the characters and many of the emotional situations! It really makes you stop and re-think everything bad that has happened in your life. It made me re-think the death of my son, the death of my mother, and many other trails that I have gone through. Holding my son as he died, holding my moms hand as she died have forever changed me and helped me to grow in ways that only God could have had plans for.



There are times in this life that we all face trails and some of those trails we look at and feel that there is NO WAY on earth we could ever survive. I know I have faced those trails in my life over and over again.... And guess what??!! I have survived and grown stronger each time. Each time I have learned many life lessons, but most of all I have learned to value life and time spent together with those you love.


No one ever thinks the bad stuff will happen to them. I never thought I could have a bad pregnancy, I NEVER thought I would ever have to bury my own child. ~things like that could never happen to me, I have already faced many other hardships~ at least that was my thinking.... You never know when you might have your last moments with someone. Sometimes we are lucky (yes, I say lucky but the true word is BLESSED) and we know when something bad will happen... We know when someone will pass. Some of us are given time to prepare, to say good bye. Does that make it easier to lose them? No, but it does give us something. We can at least tell them we love them and say goodbye. Most of the time though it happens suddenly, a car crash, heart attack.......

ALWAYS tell the people you love that you love them EVERYDAY. Never let a day go by without hugging your kids, your spouse, your mom, dad....

Kids to Bed

Sooooo, I told my daughters it was time to go to bed.... This is after they have taken baths, brushed teeth, watched papi read them a story on DVD, and I sang to them and we said prayers. They both knew it was coming but wouldn't you know that as soon as I said it was time to get in bed they started crying. My soon to be three year old was actually screaming. So I screamed back. Not yelling anything, just screaming like I was crying. I made sure I was louder then they were and wouldn't you know it worked! It took about 3 minutes but then they were both laught at mommy throwing a fit... I made it out of the room... and now they are crying again. I guess I can't win them all.....  At least they are still in bed.

My Thought of the Day

Boy is it HOT here in Texas! Our AC is out and we only have portable units but it is super hot! The rooms the kids spend most of their time in are cool but I spend a lot of my time in the kitchen.... One good thing about the heat.... My yeast breads rise A LOT faster! lol

It is going to cost $5600.00 to get new AC units. (our house has two) Wow, that is a crazy amount of money but after a day like today..... We really need to figure this out. We were told if we can wait until the fall the price would drop down but it is soooo hot...

One Month and One Day Down

So we are one month and one day down into my husband’s fourth deployment to the Middle East... He also has served an unaccompanied tour to Korea for a year... We have had three kids two girls and one boy. Our son passed away shortly after birth from a fatal birth defect called Anencephaly. We had a wonderful 8 hours and 45 minutes with him and held him every second of it! Life has not been easy on us but a blessing all in the same. Every trail we have gone through has only made us stronger and Heavenly Father has been with us through it all.


With each time apart from my husband I learn more about myself and our love for each other. Last deployment I kept myself so busy I didn't know which way was up. lol This time I prayed and feel that I need to take things slower... I know, what a horrible idea when you WANT time to go by fast; but I felt very sure of the fact that God wants me to focus more on our home, our kids, and my relationship with Him. Thus I gave up a couple of our home school groups, stop volunteering with the spouse support group from my husband’s unit (FRG), and many other things. I am trying to get my priorities in line with what God wants. I have faced some criticism in doing this, especially form people I use to volunteer with but I KNOW this is what I need to do... You can't help others if you can't help yourself, right? What my true desire is, is to help with the bereavement support group at our military post. So I am going to spend a few months focusing on my home life and then go and help them out. I held my son has he died and held my mother’s hand when she died. I know that does NOT make me an expert when it comes to losing someone but I am almost sure there could be no pain worse than burying your own child. If I could just help one other person get through that time, I would feel blessed.


I have had many friends tell me that my life has been like a soap opera. Granted I don't watch them but I do remember some from when I lived with my grandma and aunt. I guess I could see their point though. My life does seem to have one "drama" after another. From my childhood all of the way up. But I just see this has trails that I have faced that have made me who I am. Not something to regret but to learn from. I grew up with an alcoholic mom and life with her could have been better, I have been through much abuse but I have grown from it all. Due to military obligations I have been separated from my husband too much, we have lost a child, had a house fire while he was deployed, I got a blood clot in my head while I was pregnant with our last child, moved more times than I can remember, and just face everyday things.. Many other things have gone on in my life but those are stories for another day.


It is my hope that I can write to help pass the time and just to get things off of my mind. In my quest to follow what I believe God wants from me I have "lost" many of my "friends" and thus I don't have too many people to talk to. lol So, I will write.